Lessons learnt

This week I finished up working at my job in the CBD. 


For the past 15 months I have worked with some incredible people, many of them ex-refugees, who all have tales of separation and pain. And amazingly, they all think their stories are nothing special. They know they are only one refugee out of millions in the world who have left their homes for safety elsewhere.


With such traumatic histories and such inspiring biographies, you would think that I learnt some life-changing lessons from my refugee colleagues.


No. What I have learnt would not be considered life-changing in the Dr Phil, self-help, ta-dah-it's-all-new sense.


But that's not to say I haven't learnt anything. 


For example, I have learnt that a Kenyan putting the phone down on you without saying 'bye' does not mean they are unhappy with you - goodbye is just unusual in Swahili. 


And if a West African is an hour late to a meeting, you shouldn't take offence. One girl told me that when she found out that in the Western world being late to an engagement meant you didn't respect the other people attending, she was horrified. It had never occurred to her.


Another lesson: in the Western world, we might avoid talking to someone if we've forgotten their name. In Africa, not knowing someone's name doesn't stop a conversation. 'Sister' or 'brother' can suffice as a first name for years.


But the biggest thing I have learnt is that the little things count. 


Like meaning what you say.  It's often not the words you choose that affect someone but how you say it. Be sincere for goodness sake - it costs nothing and is so rare.


And finally, saying thank you and truly, deeply meaning it, is a beautiful thing and you should never underestimate how much it can touch someone. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Everyday.