Change of Direction

A friend of mine announced today that she is stepping back from elite level canoe slalom for the foreseeable future. Kate Lawrence has been paddling for over 17 years and she's about to take an extended holiday around Europe. Sans boat.


It's been coming since Kate missed out on Olympic selection earlier this year but it's taken 4 months for her to be sure that this is the right decision.


When I think about her situation, two things spring to mind.


Firstly, I vividly remember missing selection in my last year of Juniors and grieving. It's not comparable to seeing your decade-old dream pass by, but I can remember that heart-twisting gut flip. It's similar to being put down by someone you have a crush on, you know? Flump-stomach-flip. Only it lasts much longer. Do not underestimate how much you can grieve for a lost dream. 


So part of me feels bad for Kate.


A much, MUCH bigger part of me is ridiculously excited for Kate.


I think the slalom scene is addictive partly because everyone looks good, everyone speaks several languages, everyone is laid-back, everyone is a demigod, everyone is cool. And of course when you are fast, it feels effing amazing. 


But there is more out there. And there's more inside too. Kate's about to learn new things, scare herself in new ways, make different decisions, test herself, discover new identities, new priorities, new passions. 


When I think about it, it's more than a change of direction because there is no new direction yet. That's what Kate gets to work out in the next few years. 


It's really making me smile. 


PS. How cool is the photo? I have a clever sister in law who decided an underwater camera case was a necessity. Now I agree.

Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art

When my parents first came to visit me in Australia, I filled their two weeks with Blue Mountains walks, Harbour boat rides, dining opposite the Opera House, Aussie burgers, World Heritage views at Dorrigo Plateau, beach days at the mid-North coast, etc, etc.


Three months after their trip, I read in my parents' generic family Christmas letter that they had thoroughly enjoyed coming to Australia and meeting all my friends.


That was it.


No mention of the scenery, wine, or marsupials; my friends had made the biggest impression on them.


I'm remembering this now because I had an ridiculously fun time with some friends last night and now that my hangover has worn off, I am left feeling very thankful for these impulsive, frank and beguiling people. 


They've made a pretty big impression on me too.


P.S. Yes, the photo was taken last night. No, I cannot explain it.

Downsizing

Since booking our one-way tickets 6 weeks ago, Ben and I have been selling about 5-10 items a week on eBay.


It really has been a case of one man's trash is another man's treasure. And in some cases treasure being seen as trash. 


Some things that we have placed no value to at all and only listed in curiosity have sold for far more than we anticipated. Other things, like my beautiful little retro writing desk, are clearly not as beautiful to others as they are to me.


We've also chucked a lot of things and put others out in front of our house with a FREE sign.


All in all, it's been a pretty fun process so far. We've had extra cash coming in and a self-righteous feeling of downsizing what we own. 


But now with 5 and a half weeks to go, I'm sat in the middle of a house that is testing my recent calm, non-consumerist zen. There is canoe kit in the bedroom, photo frames on the floors, a desk in the hall, shoes on tables, and Nerf guns sharing the coffee table with bits of kitchen. 


And where the hell did all these pens come from!? I haven't been able to find a pen in this house for the past 4 years and now they are all over the place. Seriously, there's probably 40 biros around the house right now. 


But as Ben said this morning half asleep and listening to me cursing the semi-apocalyptic state of the house: sometimes you need to destroy before you can create. 


There's a lot more destruction to go in the next 5 weeks but I do love my husband and his comments.

Grey Weather

If the weather is good, I am motivated to go training. If it's bad, I cook.

And lately, the weather has been pretty bad.

If this continues then a chocolate pumpkin cake is going to be unavoidable.